Over the next few weeks as 2010 comes to a close we will be looking at the best & worst of 2010 and then taking a look at what we believe to be the movies to look out for in 2011. So this week we begin by running down what we really did not enjoy having to endure to bring you the latest reviews. We give you...
Screen One's Worst 10 movies of 2010.
10. Scott Pilgrim Vs The WorldThere's always one movie that will split audiences and there are others that are contentious, well this falls into the latter category. Scott Pilgrim despite being widely loved by the masses, especially the movie geeks and the majority of the movie press, we found it to be an arduous movie that was tough to stomach for it's entire run time.
It's main failing in in our view is that of the lead man, namely Micheal Cera. It quickly became obvious that Cera can only really do drippy, geeky weakling as evidenced in Juno (Which he was pretty good). Then after a few of these types of role he tried his hand at 'edgy' in Youth Gone Wild, where it quickly became apparent that he couldn't do anti hero, just arrogant in a offensive way. Thats what you get in Pilgrim too, Cera has little or no Chemistry with any of the other cast and all the little computer game in jokes became very tired after the first 20 minutes. Not a popular choice but we give you Scott Pilgrim as one to avoid.
9.
Dinner For SchmucksNow this was an easy choice and on any other year probably would have been a lot higher up the chart, however this poor excuse for a 'comedy' starring the usually reliable Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell, what you ended up with was a crass unfunny mess that really should have never seen the light of day.
It also featured
Zach Galifianakis who much like Ricky Gervais is turning quickly into a unfunny one trick pony (Great in The Hangover this not so much). Hopefully this horrid excuse for a comedy movie will be forgotten quickly.
8.
The Killer Inside MeEarly we mentioned films that split audiences and critics alike, well here is a fine example. The Killer Inside Me was a novel by Jim Thompson that many considered unfilmable. Well, Micheal Winterbottom took a crack at it and while, it looks fabulous and the acting is top notch, the film itself is one nasty little movie that borders on the misogynistic.
Featuring what feels like unending scenes of violence towards women, namely Jessica Alba & Kate Hudson. Having to endure a ten minute scene of Jessica Alba being beaten to a pulp by Casey Affleck's Lou Ford is stomach churning throughout. While it's not your regular Worst film, it's definetly not a enjoyable watch. Nasty.
7. MacGruberVery rarely does a film based on ten minute Saturday Night Live sketch turn out to make a great film. The only ones thus far that have worked are The Blues Brothers and Waynes World. Well a new addition to the SNL movie crossover failures is Macgruber. The original idea of the Macgruber sketches were that in a parody of McGuyver, each week we would see Will Forte's Macgruber try and defuse a bomb, however something would destract him and he would fail. Now here it's expanded to him hunting down one of his mortal enemies Dieter Von Cunth (Yes thats the level of foul mouthed humour to be expected here.) and working it's way to a big showdown an hour and forty minutes later with a bomb that needs defusing.
Unfunny, featuring cameos from a group of WWE Wresters including The Big Show and Chris Jericho, this is yet another comedy misfire that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth once the end credits have rolled.
6.
Resident Evil: AfterlifeThe other failed genre would be the computer game movie conversion. However this is the fourth installement of the Resident Evil Series, so there seems to be an audience for this. Or maybe it's just people thinking 'Surely this one can't be as bad as the last one?' and are cunnigly tricked into seeing it and the real horror is the realisation that you have been duped once more into shelling out your hard earned cash for a ticket.
Well this time we have the added bonus that they have added 3D to the proceedings! Wow! Now we can have loads of zombies and end of level bosses weilding large hammers popping out of the screen at us! Yeah exactly, nothing new to be seen here, except for fans of the video game series when other characters yet to be included in the series appear! It's likely that we will be seeing yet another chapter before too soon as everyone going to see this has ensured semi decent box office = another sequel!
5. Alice in WonderlandAlice in Wonderland directed by Tim Burton in 3D? Sounds like licence to print money right? It even has his longtime muse Johnny Depp in it. In fact the cast was excellent. It features all of Burtons amazing visuals. However he messes with the story and overdoes the entire film to construct one of the most boring renditions of a classic story that puts nearly the entire audience to sleep. Too trippy for the younger members and just plain too weird for everyone else.
The proceedings seem to never end, the cast other than Mrs. Burton a.k.a Helena Bonham Carter are woefully miscast. Much like Burtons reimagining of Planet of the Apes, its an overblown mess. Unfortunately it was given a huge amount of hype coming in which didn't help it. This was a film to endure rather than just watch.
4.
Vampires SuckEvery year one of these paraody movies ends up in just about everyones worst top 10 counts. If it's not Date, Dance, Superhero etc. etc. Movie then it's Meet The Spartans. This year we had the delightful Vampires Suck grace our screens. Jumping on the huge success of the Twilight Movies and True Blood, we get a bunch of current pop culture references such as Lady GaGa and Black Eyed Peas jokes along with a group of unkowns mugging to cameras and knowing winks.
I pleaded with people after Meet The Spartans and I will do it again. Please stop going to see these movies. They keep getting made because you keep going to see them. Please stop. Then maybe we can get through a year without anymore of this bile.
3.
SkylineSkyline. Came out of nowhere and had the honour of absolutley no press screenings. There's your first warning sign. But still we headed into the cinema to go and watch this sci fi cinema classic that would rival Independance Day. Once again we were lied to folks. A film made on a meagre budget and almost entirely happens from one room. Featuring what could have been an interesting concept and actually does has some decent creature effects is ruined by the Strause Brothers leaving the film without an ending and some implausible set pieces. (Yes i'm aware the entire story is implausible, but within the realms of the actual movie itself there are some very starnge things going on that don't make any sense and not just the script.)
Here's an example of its stupidity. Despite seeing one of their colleagues crushed to death by one of the aliens, they proceed to try and escape outside. They run from one side of the aprtment complex to another one which is a seperate building. Now they get cut off and run inside for cover and run up several flights of stairs to find themselves back in theior original penthouse suite?!?! I'm sorry but what? Continuity error doesn't even half cover it. Then the US forces let of a Nuclear missile into the belly of the main alien spaceship which doesn't work, however they then deploy despite the oncoming fallout, US Marines to the rooftop with Bazooka's which seemingly do more damage than a Nuke? Then as mentioned earlier, the film doesn't actually have an ending, it just stops. It's like the film makers even got bored and just left it. Awful, plain awful.
2. Sex & The City 2This summer we had the Football (Soccer to our american cousins) World Cup in South Africa. As usual English hopes were high with yet another 'Golden Generation' of footballers to go and obviously walk over all the opposition and walk away with what is rightfully ours. We even had a 'easy' group that we should have waltzed through. Well as usual we basically capitulated and failed even more miserably than we usually do.
Then to add pain to the heartbreak Sex & The City 2 is released. So now with no excuse all the countries men are dragged to see the second movie offering of the successful TV series. Unfortunately the film turns out to be a turgid, waste of space movie that borders on racist at times and totally inept writing at others. With no discernable story, for some weak reason or other, the girls goto Abu Dhabi where they insult everyone including the audience. For all their dream endings they got at the end of the first film turn out to not be dreams you see but nightmares. So for the next two and a half hours we have to put up with their whinging to only discover at the end, that actually they did get their dream endings, it just wasnt what they were expecting... Whatever. This is poor writing at it's worst. A shameless cash in, that ruins the memories of what was a brilliantly written TV Series. What's more there's a third installment coming! This time they are on their way to the UK for some more high Jinks! Oh how we can hardly wait. Not.
This would have won hands down if it was not for...
1.
The Last AirbenderAnd here we have it. Quite simply the worst thing to grace our cinema screens all year. Horrendous. M.Night Shalyman has outdone himself this time. The Village and The Happening were ten levels of awful, but this takes the realms of bad to a whole new universe of awful. Featuring some of the most ridiculous lines ever to be uttered in a movie 'When we discovered you were a bender, we knew this day would come..' and sets that looked like they were made out of cardboard, Airbender is filmaking at its worst. The film is so bad it gives Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space a run for it's money!
The 3D is so terrible that you can take your glasses off at any point and not actually notice the difference. The film is set up with sequels in mind. On this basis we can only pray that they don't. Or if they do, get Chris Nolan to script and direct it. Thats the only thing that will save this. But on second thoughts, please don't. Just let it die like it deserves too. We cannot put across just how bad this film is and if you read this and decide not to watch the film, then that is one soul we have managed to save.
So there's our top ten and next week we will be publishing our top films of 2010 as it's always good to end the year on a high note. But before we end this column for now, here are a few other films that narrowly missed this top 10:
Saw 3D - Waste of 3D for a film that could have capitalized and made a cracking series of death traps come to life. Thank goodness it's the last one of the series.
Cyrus - Billed as a comedy, actually a mumblecore movie, that is a waste of decent talent.
Grown Ups - It was this or Dinner for Schmucks. Adam Sandler and friends go off on holiday to make a laugh a minute movie. They fail badly.
Killers - Ashton Kutcher, how does this guy get films made?
Devil - M. Night again, fortuntely he's only on writing duties this time, but still terrible.
The A Team - Rips the soul from a much loved TV series from the 80's and Sharlto Copley & Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson aside, woefully miscast awful attempt at reinventing a classic.
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